I have received hundreds of letters from women who have purchased a chastity device, praising the design and the effect it has on their mate. In those letters, the one thing they all regret - they wish they would have bought one years ago. They also write to tell me how they are using their chastity device in their relationship on their mate and what specific techniques work best for them. The following is intended to be only a starting map of those ideas. I require my men to wear a chastity device. I love the result this devious little device has on them and I love what it does for me, or should I say what he did for me when he wore it and believe me, if you follow these suggestions, you will absolutely love this little thing also.
The purpose of a chastity device is to provide a cosmetically appealing, safe, and totally secure device which will control your partner’s orgasms. When you require your partner to wear a chastity device, he will not be able to see his penis, he will not be able to touch his penis (not where it will do him any good anyway), and it will absolutely deny him the control to masturbate to orgasm by himself
The cornerstone of understanding why this device is so effective is two fold, and cannot be over stated: 1) A chastity device allows you to totally control your partner’s masturbation. Your ability to now control your partner’s masturbation and to provide the only relief for him, is a powerful tool. Few women ever come to realize how important masturbation-denial really is. Most women believe they have control over sex in the relationship and they incorrectly feel this gives them some sort of control. Controlling sex is not the same as controlling your partner’s orgasms. Just because you are controlling sex, don’t be misled into thinking that your partner is not orgasming without you. Most women just don’t realize how much most males masturbate. And, they certainly would never admit to themselves that their man is doing it. After all, you’re not doing it, and you wait for sex with him. Shouldn’t he be waiting faithfully for you? Well, wake up honey and smell the COFFEE. Recent studies show that it is not uncommon for males between the ages of 25 and 40 to masturbate at least 3 times per day. This shocks a lot of women. I hope it doesn’t shock you, because not only is this normal, it is so very important that you know how much your man masturbates, and what a huge part it plays in his life. Because , you are about to deny him a tremendously significant act, and not only that, you are going to control when, and how much he can orgasm.
OK, so now you know the naked truth about what a big deal masturbation is to men. Next, lets talk about what men are doing when they are masturbating. Remember, that the studies show that men fantasize when they masturbate. They fantasize about everything, everyone and anything, when they enter their favorite personal fantasy sex world. I like to call this their personal masturbatory fantasy world. Again, don’t bother asking him about what he fantasizes about, he’ll only tell you its always just about you sweety. I’ll tell you this: His fantasies may very well have you in them, but you probably would be surprised at all the dirty little things you do for him and maybe who joins you. It isn’t important to know what he fantasizes about, what is important, is to know that this is what all males do when they masturbate, and yes, your sweet guy also does some of this himself.
Finally, we are going to get to the good stuff that applies to you. So, we now know that your partner masturbates without you, and enters what ever perverted personal masturbatory fantasy world he wants. You are now going to control his trips to that world. From day one, your male will not be going there anymore. He now has to take you with him when he goes. Don’t you just love it! No more escape trips with out your say so. Oh sure, he will still fantasize about what ever he wants during the day, but he won’t be masturbating while he is doing it. And believe me, fantasy without masturbation doesn’t even come close to fantasy with masturbation. You are denying him an intense stimulation. By denying him this stimulation you will create a stimulation void in his mind. Something will have to rush in, to fill that void. A new fantasy will start to fill that spot, and that fantasy is inescapable for him. It will push its way into his mind no matter what he tries to think about. It will start to obsess him and control his thoughts in the way his old fantasies did. It can not be denied. It always happens this way. And the best part, it will happen to your male too. And all you had to do so far is to place him in chastity under your control.
What is that new fantasy? GODDESS YOU! Automatically, he will be having deep fantasies about you. About the Goddess he always knew you were. About the control that you have over him. You are now going to be viewed in a different way. You want to talk about body worship. Your male is going to see your body as the sexiest thing in the universe. Why? Because you aren’t competing with his false fantasies anymore. He is now looking at living flesh. Men don’t realize that if they would just stop fantasizing all the time, and allow themselves to be intimate with their partner (like we already do) it is way more intense. But, your male is no different. He will just think that you are now incredibly erotic, powerful and sexy. He will attribute this to a thing. His chastity device. He won’t attribute it to intimacy. He will only figure out, that this new game you are playing with him, really turns him on. He will enjoy his new fantasies much more than the old one dimensional ones. He won’t even know that you just replaced his old ones with you! Don’t let him in on this intimacy-thing he is feeling. You can’t get him to understand it anyway, and if you could, it would never last - it never does without chastity control. Make him think it is all about the fact that you started taking control over his masturbation. Tell him how much you enjoy this new control and that things will never be the way they were - so just forget about ever touching yourself without your permission. Tell him often that you control his masturbation. Use that word a lot. It makes most men uncomfortable. Tell him that you will decide from now on, when he will get to cum, if ever. Of course, you will let him cum, just don’t tell him this. Although in the beginning it really doesn’t hurt to make him wait for three months. My experience shows that it take about three months to get him totally out of his personal masturbation fantasy world. Tell him how much more you like him this way, and that you find that the more you let him cum the worse he acts toward you.
After a few days of chastity the poor boy will start going out of his mind and the gentle caressing and kissing and cooing will start - trust me again on this, it will start. Tell your partner you love the way he has been paying attention to your body, and you love the caressing and massaging he has been doing to you lately. Act self-confidant, arrogant, and in control. Remember, men love what they can’t have and that goes for women too. Talk to him often about the power you have. Act like a Goddess. Let the body worshipping begin!
Make your girlfriends jealous by telling them how at the end of a long day your guy massages your feet or gives you long body massages and doesn’t even have to be asked. Or, train your partner to massage your feet on-the-spot any time you say, “Wearing high heels makes my feet ache.” Then, say it when one of your girlfriends are over and make them jealous, and embarrass and humiliate him.
There is a great test to see if the chastity device has brought your male’s mind to the point of true Goddess Body Worshipping. In other words: Is your partner’s mind consumed and fixated on your physical image yet? Try this: Pick an erotic part of your body and tell your partner you want him to do something as a gesture of his gratitude, for this wonderful thing you are doing for him (not letting him masturbate! Tell him you want him to pay tribute to this part of yourself every time he sees you. Here are some ideas women have sent me. One women makes her husband kiss her bare pussy every time he gets into bed with her in the evening. She just opens her legs out of habit every time he gets in bed. When she wants him to stop she says, “ thank you.” If, she decides she wants more, she simply says “continue.” She has a beautiful orgasms any night she wants as she falls asleep. And poor hubby goes to bed very turned on and horny. Poor boy. One woman makes her boy friend get on his knees, and kiss the toe of her right high heel shoe or boot when she comes home from work in the evening. If she holds her left boot out for worship, he knows she plans on doing something that evening he is not going to like very much! Now think one up on your own. Don’t add such things as making him massage you and bath you. While these ideas are good, and I expect you to train him to do these things these are some of the other things that are in it for you), remember, in this section we are addressing his need to have intense fantasies right now. Don’t be afraid to have him do all of these, and add more as you think of them. Above all, even if this behavior amuses you and makes you laugh, don’t let on. Tell him how much it turns you on, and that it makes you wet when you think about him doing these things. He should feel that this really pleases you. If he forgets, simply mention that you will be punishing him or extending the amount of time until orgasm for the oversight.
This is where I lose a lot of non-dominant women. Naturally-dominant and controlling women will absolutely love the previous body worshipping ideas. The power exchange turns them on. For those of you that think this is cruel, humiliating, or embarrassing - it is. That’s the point. You just took away all of your man’s intense fantasies, you now are starting to reprogram his fantasies with intense ones that revolve around you. What better intense fantasy is there, than having him programmed to worship one of your erotic body parts. Sure, it’s a little kinky, but it’s effect is very intense. And, no matter what he tries to tell you about this, insist he does it without being asked, or he won’t be cuming until he does! Now, what fantasy do you think he will be thinking about at work tomorrow, and every day for the rest of his life. He is now starting to develop what I like to call his Goddess Body Worshipping Fantasy about you. Score round one for our side.
Goddess Body Worshipping Fantasies about you are going to be very intense for your male. I believe it is enhanced by the endorphins released by your body. Tap into this fact. Use your pussy scent on him. Don’t be embarrassed or shy about this. I almost always make it point to straddle my male's face once during sex. The sent drives him wild. I also, love to have him kiss my pussy. Some times I make him get down on his knees just as he is going out the door for work and I rub his nose in my pussy. Don’t think he doesn’t think of me and my Goddess Body all day long. We are talking intense Goddess Body Worshipping Fantasies all day long! A great masturbation technique that focuses my male's fantasies on my body, happens when I have my him tied spread eagle on the bed, enduring one of my long, frustrating, masturbation sessions. He always has his penis gag in his mouth, as I have long ago got tired of his directions, moaning, pleading, and whining. If I am going to indulge his masturbation fantasies, I alone control every aspect, and he always wears the gag. The gag I use, doesn’t have a ball on it. I don’t like the look of those, and I have found that my male can talk and breath around this type. I use a thick penis style gag, that is held in by a 2 1/2 inch strap that covers the gag when it is in his mouth. It looks a lot better, and I don’t have to listen to him! OK. so where was I - oh yeah, he is tied spread eagle with a gag. Next, after a long stretch of expert teasing to warm him up, I straddle his head and sit on his forehead facing his feet, so my pussy is directly over his nose. Since this type of gag doesn’t allow him to breath through his mouth, he breathes my pussy scent directly through his nose until I decide he has only me on his mind. While I’m masturbating him within an inch of orgasm after near orgasm, I will spread my lips so he gets to enjoy all those endorphins. Sorry, no orgasm tonight. Good night. What’s that you're trying to say? Remove the gag? I’m sorry, I can’t tell what you're saying. You know, I wouldn’t always gag him, but he’s never learned the following proper submissive etiquette: It’s not polite to talk until your Mistress has dismounted!
This exchange of power is intoxicating for men. Men love and worship power. You now have a type of ultimate power over his weak little mind. Men tell me this is a very strong and erotic fantasy. Further, by controlling your partner's ability to masturbate, and keeping him out of his fantasy world, he will have no other choice but to join you in the real world of your relationship and all the intimacies that he normally can escapes from, when he masturbates in his fantasy world. It is important to understand this, and use it to turn his affections away from his fantasies and redirect them to center totally on you and your fantasies. He needs to fantasize about, and worship your body and the goddess he knows you are. You and I are going to reprogram years of behavior and slowly get your male to be turned on by you alone. He is going to start to actually get aroused by pleasing your fantasy. You will also greatly heighten his response to you. He will become more sensitive to your wants, your needs, your moods, and even subtle things like your scent. We will program him to be physically turned on when he touches, massages, caresses, and fondles you. Slow kissing and embraces will find its way into your relationship. Does this sound like any of the men you have ever met? Didn’t think so. Do you want the man in your life to become this wonderful person? All women do but few ever really figure it out. And here is the best part. A chastity device does almost all the work for you.
So far, everything I have been telling you about has to do with masturbation, and your male’s fantasies. Part one is all about realizing the male has intense fantasies, allowing him to have them, but reshaping them around you and your Goddess Body. Give them to him, and make them kinky, dirty, and intense. If he is only fantasizing about you now, then you and the chastity device are doing their jobs. Remember, control of your male’s fantasy masturbation world is the key. In part 2, I will tell you about orgasm control, and the power it will give you to get the things you want and need in your relationship.
A chastity device allows you to totally control when and how often you let your partner orgasm. Masturbation control is about reprogramming fantasies. Orgasm control, on the other hand, is all about power. Men are generally selfish. Only because of their physical size, and their stubbornness, do they wield power over us. Even the best and most sensitive ones never really grow up and become giving, sharing partners. They only want to give you the things they think you want, and they are clumsy and greedy at it as well. They may well be good men and providers, but males aren’t very good at adult intimate relationships. These are the facts, and I have learned this over many years of personal experiences, and talking with hundreds of women. Like the reality of masturbation, this is the reality of our selfish male partners.
Orgasm control is a simple concept, and it is easy to understand why it works, because all women have experienced its benefits. Unlike the secret world of male masturbation, orgasm control is embarrassingly obvious to women. It’s this simple: The male can be wonderful, caring, giving, kind, and can be honestly interested in your feelings and in pleasing you, until he has his orgasm. Then, the other side of his brain takes over, and you can just throw all that loving caring crap right out the window! All women understand this, and I know you do too.
This is the way male sexual response works. Before orgasm, the male body system that drives the sexual excitation phase of erection, also changes male brain chemistry, filling the male mind with loving tender feelings. After orgasm, the male body system that controls climax, fills the male mind with cold insensitive feelings. There is well accepted medical knowledge regarding this. It is all tied to the human response referred to as the fight or flight/feed or breed system. You can read more about this on your own. By the way, it will come as no surprise to you that the women’s sexual response system doesn’t quite work this way.
See, I told you it would be easy to figure out the basis of orgasm control. Before orgasm - the male is sweet, tender, kind, and giving. After orgasm - a selfish male. So, what you need to do is keep that sweetheart male of yours, in his pre-orgasm excited stage, and keep him out of his post-orgasm stage. Got it? It’s simple, really.
Control those orgasms girls. Deny your male orgasms as long as you can, and you will automatically see the positive benefits from this, in the way your male acts toward you. You will have the sweetest man you could ever dream of. Now, while he is so responsive to you, start to suggest specific things that you would like him to do for you, like holding and kissing you more. Tell him to think more romantically and to take you out to dinner more. Tell him you want him to start taking the initiative in ravaging you and carrying you into the bedroom. If you keep this up long enough, you can reprogram male behavior and make this part of your male’s personality. In this area, I won’t go into detailed examples like I did for you in the section on controlling his masturbation fantasies. You know what you want in this area, now go for it.
The second benefit of orgasm control, is the power it gives you. This area is the easiest to understand, and is straight forward. You now can exert a great deal of your will over your partner. Simply, ask your male to perform what ever task you desire, and use the leverage of orgasm denial to persuade him. For example, ask him to make dinner, or clean the house. If he balks, just tell him you added another day or week to his orgasm day. Then, start giving him expected or scheduled tasks. Things you expect him to do without you having to ask. You can demand practical tasks, your sexual wants, Goddess Body Worshipping acts, and of course kinky masturbation fantasy concepts.
Here are some ideas I use along with some sent to me: Set up a massage schedule. Fire your cleaning service and make him clean the house dressed as your maid once a week. Make him cook dinner once a week dressed as what ever turns you on. Throw out all his ugly underwear and make him wear only g-strings. Make him wear your pantyhose to work once a week. Set up a bath night, and make him your tub slave. Make him come up with ideas of things to do together when you have time off. Throw all your dirty lingerie in one hamper, and make it his responsibility to wash and put it away.
This centers him on you, your body and your scent. Men also fantasize about women and their lingerie. Make him shave you on bath night. Make him shave himself, and punishing him if you ever feel rough legs. Make him lay out all your boots and have him clean and polish them. Set-up a dinner party with all your girls friends, and make him cook dinner for everyone wearing what ever you dare. Then make him serve everyone and wait on everyone. Be sure to make him do the dishes while your girlfriends are still there. Detail what you expect of him beforehand so there won’t be a need to reprimand him in front of the girls. The ideas of things you can get him to do, go on and on. Where possible try to include one of your fantasy masturbation ideas.
Next, I want to warn you about one of the downsides to chastity. And, it is one of my biggest pet peeves. It has to do with a type of behavior that men exhibit when you deny their orgasm for any period of time. I know your male is going to pull this on you too. What I’m referring to, is when men start to ask or suggest things that I should do to them. Then they start to whine about it. Remember, you are in control of everything all of the time. There are going to be times when you only want your male to act as a kind gentle loving person. Other than the jobs you have predetermined that he has to routinely perform, you don’t want to hear him trying to manipulate you into doing something that you are not in the mood for. Further, it might be that you may be in the mood to indulge his personal masturbation fantasies with a request for him to perform, or you may be planning to masturbate him, but you don’t want him trying to manipulate your plans.
There are times when I ask for input or want to know what my male likes (as you know from the masturbation section - you really have no idea what kinky little fantasies your male dreams of.) There are also times when it is fine for my male to express his wants and needs. But, there are two times when it just totally pisses me off. The first, is when I’m just not in the mood to be in his personal masturbation fantasy world. I simply want to enjoy the loving man who I have coaxed out of his shell. After all, that is in large part what this is all about. The second, is when I am masturbating him. During these sessions I am in total control of his fantasy, and I am directing the whole scene for him. I don’t want him slipping back into what ever he was used to thinking about when he masturbated himself. As I stated before, he is never going to ever direct his own fantasies again. I am now his fantasy, I will be the overpowering image for him, and I alone control where his mind will go.
Here is how to handle this quickly and easily. Gag him. When my male pulls this, I let him know that I don’t want to indulge his masturbation fantasies right now. If he continues just once more, I get up, and go get his gag. I do it myself even though it would easier to have him do it, because I don’t want to negotiate it or discuss it or hear his whining. I come back quickly, open his mouth and shove the thick penis into his mouth, strap it on and lock it. Done. I don’t have to listen to anymore and it doesn’t ruin my mood. In fact, I now demand Goddess Body Worship on the spot, usually foot worship while I watch TV, read, or work at my computer. Or, if I am just totally sick and tired if the hinting and suggestions, (this is usually when I just don’t want to have anything to do with domination) I take him to the bedroom and into the closet, and lock the D-ring on the top of the gag (which is located on the top of his head), to a ring I have in the floor of the closet. I just leave him there for a few hours or until I go to bed. Remember, never leave your mate alone when gagged. I leave the closet door open just enough so I can see him from the bed. I don’t hear a lot about domination for quite some time after doing this. I highly recommend doing one or both of these when ever you first start to hear your man verbalizing about what he expects you to do. You don’t have to listen to this sort of thing when you are not in the mood for it.
Now you have a basic understanding of the game plan you need to follow if you are going to place your male in a chastity device. Remember the difference between masturbation control, and orgasm control. Don’t ever, ever, let your male masturbate. This is the only hard and fast rule. This is how you control his fantasies. Orgasm control is a different issue. How often you let your man orgasm is up to you. You have total control of your male. Use orgasm control to get what you want, to control his behavior, and especially to have fun. For me, I have so much fun driving my male out of his mind after only a few days without an orgasm. I still can’t believe men can’t stand to go more than a few days without masturbating. I can’t tell you how I love to see him frustrated. I think it has to do with the fact that I went for weeks without orgasms, and I always thought he was doing the same. Now, I know he was masturbating behind my back to relieve himself. Well, no more. I want him to know exactly how I was feeling all those years. Making him stay excited and frustrated all the time gets me off. Drives him nuts, and I just love it! Hey, he’s lucky. I have women who write to tell me that they make their men go months and some don’t ever let their men come, ever. That’s the best part, you describe what schedule works best for you and your male.
Now a word about security. I use the chastity device that is secured by a piercing. It is fairly easy for me to slip on and off him. Every time, I let him out I secure him. All I do is use a simple pair of handcuffs. He gets them, and locks his hands. Then, I unlock his chastity device. He can sleep, shower or whatever, but he doesn’t get out of the handcuffs until I lock him back up. I can’t tell you how important this is, both for security and to your male’s psyche. Your male needs to know he can’t get out, and you won’t give him the chance to escape. This is what makes it real for him and this is what will terrify him to the maximum. This is how you get him to obey you right now without question. This is what makes it all work. Don’t let your male think this is a game. You let him know you are pissed about his masturbation and you feel as if he has been cheating on you. And, rather than leave him, you are going to try to see if it will put a stop to his cheating. You don’t have to really feel this way, just use this as a way of telling him how important it is to you that you unlock him only when his hands are tied, that way you will have a way of getting him back into his chastity device. Except for masturbation sessions, he doesn’t have to be tied to anything. If he wants the handcuffs off to go to work, for example, he has to let you put him back into his chastity device.
I have women who write me and tell me that they go as far as blindfolding their men when they let them out. They feel that they don’t want their men thinking at all about themselves. These men not only haven’t touched themselves for months, some haven’t even seen their penis for years! I have thought about doing this. I might try it for a few months sometime, it sounds like fun. Maybe, I’ll use this idea as a punishment for some delinquency or impropriety of some sort.